The day that a composer reaches the double bar line at the end of a piece is often equated to the day that said piece of music is declared "done."
I started off 2024 with three double bar lines, which is to say that three projects I had spent the fall months working on were sent out to their respective ensembles.
As a composer, the moment a piece of sheet music is exported to a pdf file does give a sense of satisfaction, or in some cases, relief. It's the moment that the creative work has been finished and the piece will move forward into the world, likely with few changes from its exported notation file. It's also a nice experience to go from months of editing a file to then seeing how tidy everything looks on the page.
This celebratory feeling, however, is soon glazed over by a sense of pause. The project that has consumed my thoughts in many of my waking hours all of a sudden dissipates. Then the perspective changes in that the notation on the page is nothing without the musicians who will play it! It's really only the creative writing work that is finished, as the piece itself is now moving forward into its next phase of life.
There are other thoughts and feelings as well: There's an understanding that there are several logistics to work through in order to get the piece to the point of publish, and there's definitely a sense of vulnerability in sharing your art with the world.
"Will they like it?"
"Does it suit their needs?"
"Will the things that seem clearly evident to me as the composer translate through the notated music?"
"Did I write enough stickings?"
"Did I write too many stickings??"
... Question-Master-Mo enters the chat. (Just kidding, she's been there the whole time.)
Once I send it off, is it really my piece anymore? At which point does it stop being my piece and its ownership transfers to the musicians who play it? These are all things I've been thinking about lately.
One of my personal challenges in composing has been the distance from, or lack of involvement in, assisting the musicians in preparing my pieces. I better hope that the notation I used throughout the piece in regards to articulations, dynamics, stickings, technique text, etc. translates accurately to the musicians who read it.
Then again, the beauty of it all is that each and every ensemble who reads through a piece of mine will interpret the music in a way that is unique to them, and as long as the piece is fully realized by the players in their own special way, then this music - which was my gift to them - can then be paid forward as their gift of music to share with the world.
As of today, I'm excited to say that all three of these projects have been premiered and performed live for audiences. But even now, after the premieres, these pieces are still not "done." In fact, they are just getting started!
Who else has thoughts about all this? I would love to hear from you.
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